June 2025

6th

Officially, I have been a resident of Ancrum for one year and three days. Despite my openness and amiable demeanour, I have not established any friendships within this partisan-phobic village, except for conversations with my neighbours. Is humanity a falsified memory, or was this world once humane? Does a psychopath derive sadistic pleasure from subjecting vulnerable individuals to such a foolish, pre-existing deprivation?

Verdant, overgrown path or ditch cutting through a dense thicket of bushes and trees. The path is densely vegetated, suggesting a lack of recent maintenance or use. The background reveals a partly cloudy sky and distant hills under a pale, possibly sunset sky. The overall feel is one of untamed nature.

West and East views from a stone bridge over the Kelso Line.

Overgrown ditch or drainage channel running through a field. Lush green vegetation, including various bushes and tall grasses, fills the channel and the surrounding banks. A few larger trees stand on either side, and in the distant background, a relatively flat field is visible under a partly cloudy sky. A utility pole is visible near the left side of the image. The overall impression is one of rural, relatively undisturbed nature.

Charlie took me for a coddiwomple. I had been stressed out and stuck inside all day, so opening the car roof and feeling the warm air rush over me was heaven after being stuck inside all day. I would walk onto bridges to experience this comforting sensation; however, members of the public reported that I was suicidal, and the police arrived to detain me under the mental health act.

Tranquil landscape at twilight. A vast field of tall, swaying barley dominates the foreground, leading the eye towards a gently rolling hill in the middle distance. This hill is topped with a dark line of trees, and possibly a small structure near the center. The sky is a soft blend of blues and purples, with wispy clouds, and a sliver of a moon visible in the upper left corner. The overall mood is serene and peaceful.

I took this photo using the wide-angle lens on my iPhone.⁣

Vast field of tall, green barley swaying gently in the breeze. Two tire tracks cut through the field, leading towards a slightly elevated area of land in the distance, where a dark line of trees sits against a pale sky. A sliver of a moon is visible in the upper left portion of the picture. The overall mood is peaceful and serene, indicative of late afternoon or early evening. The sky is a mix of blue and soft gray clouds.

Since stigmatisation further isolates me into seclusion, I have self-censored a lot of writing about my mental health. This pre-existing condition is exploited by widespread ostracism, which causes detachment and loneliness. Sam and I have a friend named Charlie, who shares his life with me, even though I have nothing to share with him. Charlie is a wonderful man for having made friends with this disturbed person I became.

Country road lined with tall trees on either side. The road is relatively empty and the light suggests it is either early morning or late evening. The trees are lush and green, and the overall atmosphere is tranquil and serene. The road leads toward a slightly visible horizon with fields beyond the trees.
Blue Mini Cooper convertible parked on a country road next to Charlie standing in a field. A signpost indicating Farmington is visible in the background. The overall setting appears to be rural, with lush greenery and a partly cloudy sky. The scene is tranquil and evokes a sense of quiet countryside life.

Not many places in this country, when you can go, from valley to valley and feel as though you are in a different world, as ostracism follows to reap inclusion, violation is the apéritif.

Dark, weathered brick wall with a large, faded white painting of an owl on it. The word HOOT is painted in white letters above the owl, suggesting a playful or whimsical design. The overall mood is dark and somewhat mysterious, enhanced by the low light and the aged condition of the wall. The contrast between the dark brick and the white paint draws attention to the owl image. The presence of greenery at the bottom suggests an outdoor location.

In addition, we encountered a solitary owl at Rutherford, a displaced intermediary that serves as a bridge between darkness and light.

Blue Mini Cooper convertible parked on the side of a country road at dusk. The sky is cloudy, and a hedge runs along the roadside. The car's headlights are on, suggesting it's either early evening or late in the day. The overall mood is peaceful and somewhat melancholic, due to the subdued lighting and the quiet rural setting.

Tonight I have a place to go, but for decades, this wasn't so. Upon returning to Ancrum, I prepared Charlie mince and onion, buttered mash tatties, and broccoli and carrots.

5th

It is unclear how the plastic seal on my B12 (Hydroxocobalamin) box was compromised, as it has not yet been administered by a nurse.

Leonie's hand opening a box of Hydroxocobalamin 1mg/ml injection vials. The box is white and clearly labelled with the drug's name, concentration, manufacturer (Accord Healthcare Ltd), lot number, and expiry date. The vials themselves are visible inside the packaging. The overall impression is one of medical treatment or preparation for an injection.

At 10:40am I received this injection, at 2:45pm still alive from “fear it do it anyway” because unlike detachment paranoia inflicted by social deprivation, pernicious anaemia is real.

4th

I trimmed the front garden at Woodburn and added 200 image descriptions to this website today.

Charlie received his new work vehicle, a Nissan Almeria SE that is twenty years old. The delivery driver inquired whether I was acquainted with Johnnie Armstrong. Retrospectively, it is peculiar and unsettling.

Dark green Nissan Almeria parked on a gravel drive. The car appears to be in relatively good condition, and the background features a grassy hillside and some trees. The overall impression is a simple, everyday scene of a car parked in a rural setting. There's nothing particularly striking or symbolic about the picture; it's a straightforward depiction of a vehicle in a landscape.

My Mini Cooper and his Nissan Almeria cost less to tax than our L200 Warrior!

3rd

When we are departing a town or county, it is customary for them to overtake us. This is so common that they are willing to risk their lives, as well as the lives of others. It's as though they are deliberately trying to ill fate us into having an accident. The picture below was taken by me through my wing mirror.

Grey Seat Ateca SUV stopped on a narrow road, partially obscured by another vehicle. A person inside the Seat is hold the palm of their hand against the window. The setting appears to be rural, with lush green foliage and a stone wall visible. The focus is on the Seat and the hand, creating a sense of a brief, possibly fleeting, interaction between the occupants of the two vehicles.

We took this photo as we passed them right before we entered Langholm.

Side of a dark-coloured SUV driving along a road. The vehicle is in the foreground, with a view of rolling green hills and a cloudy sky in the background. Power lines stretch across the image above the hills.

Angry car with creepy people, flashing lights and hurling abuse at us. They overtook us after we overtook a log lorry on the A7 at the Scottish Borders/Dumfriesshire border. This is when the abuse commenced, and it concluded on the other side of Langholm as we pulled into a lay-by. The hatred aimed at my life has been unending since I returned from India.

2nd

There were plenty of white bulbs to remove before I filled the space with a bag of compost and a delphinium plant. That day, I dug out the last lily bed next to my house wall.

Black bucket with a small trowel inside, sitting on a concrete surface next to a narrow strip of earth bordering a grey brick wall. The earth contains small stones and debris. The scene suggests some form of minor gardening or landscaping work in progress.
Narrow strip of garden soil between a concrete walkway and the foundation of a house. Newly planted greenery — a larger plant with broad, light green leaves and a smaller plant with reddish-orange foliage — are visible in the soil. The soil appears recently added. The overall impression is of landscaping in progress or recently completed.

Charlie came home from work in the afternoon, and we had coffee before going to Selkirk to shear some ewe lambs.

Charlie in a high-visibility vest tending to a flock of sheep. The sheep are contained within a wooden enclosure, likely for sorting or other husbandry tasks. The setting is a rural pasture with a wooden fence and lush green grass, under a partly cloudy sky.

One of my ewe lambs was the first to be sheared; she was particularly jumpy before being selected for the procedure.

Charlie shearing a sheep. The sheep is lying on a tarp on the ground, and the person is using electric shears to remove its wool. The setting appears to be a rural pasture with a wooden fence in the background.
Panoramic view of a sheep shearing in progress. A person in a bright green vest is shearing a sheep lying on a white sheet in a grassy field. Several other sheep are visible behind a wooden fence in a pen. The background includes lush green fields, trees and a building in the distance under a mostly sunny, blue sky.
Charlie shearing a sheep using an electric clipper. The sheep is lying on a tarp, and Charlie is using both hands to operate the clipper. The setting appears to be a farm or pasture. The image focuses on the act of shearing, highlighting the tools and process involved in the care of sheep.
Charlie shearing a sheep using an electric shearing tool. The sheep is lying on a tarp on the ground, and Charlie, as the shearer is kneeling beside it. The setting appears to be a rural farm or pasture. Wool is visible on the ground surrounding the sheep.

To keep them from getting caught in the shears, it's important to keep them calm. The worst dags typically occur in the sheep that are sheared first.

Two-headed sheep standing in a lush green field. The field is bordered by a hedgerow and trees under a partly cloudy blue sky. Power lines are visible in the background. The overall scene is peaceful and pastoral.

Before his sole battery started to die, Charlie had sheared two ewe lambs.

Section of frayed rope hanging down against a background of short, green grass. The rope is predominantly grey/blue with some white fraying visible, particularly at the ends. The rope appears knotted and tangled in places.

We are uncertain as to why individuals throw old rope into our field, except for tying the legs of our sheep; this is a frequent occurrence, given the remoteness of our grass keep. We find that the rope is far too long and thick for the wind to pick it up and carry it away.

Leonie holding a yellow plastic bag filled with a large quantity of un-spun, light brown sheep's wool. The bag is slightly torn. The setting appears to be outdoors on gravel. Leonie's foot, wearing a sandal, is visible in the bottom of the image.

We'll find a use for the bagged fleeces, even though they're not in the best condition.

Close-up of a dirty, rusty, and worn-out shearing blade held in a Charlie's hand. The blade is encased in a clear plastic protective casing which is also dirty. The background is blurred, showing part of a vehicle and the person's hand holding what seems to be another tool.
Close-up view of the cutting head of a shearing clipper. The cutting blades are coated in a thick layer of fleece and faecal matter, giving the tool a dirty and well-used appearance. The focus is sharp on the cutting head, while the background shows Charlie holding the tool is blurred.

Charlie showed me the difference between his two shearing blades, one of which was wider than the other.

Cose-up view of the cutting head of an electric hedge trimmer. The cutting blades are heavily coated with shearing debris, giving it a dirty and worn appearance. The overall impression is one of a tool that has seen significant use.

Scent is such a wonderful experience when you're traumatised numb, I focused on scent in my garden to help me heal latent trauma.

1st

Charlie fired up his sixty-one-year-old tractor; towed a severely broken pickup from Woodburn Farmhouse driveway.

Dark-blue Mitsubishi L200 pickup truck parked on a grassy hillside next to a tractor being operated by a person. The truck is partially obstructing the view of the tractor, suggesting a working environment, possibly on a farm. The background includes a stone wall and lush green pasture under a partly cloudy sky.

We had many dock leaves around the farmhouse, less on the paddock this year, but we have powerful herbicide for them.

Storefront called First Bite, located next to a business called Beatties Bakes. The view is from inside a car, looking out at the bakery. The windows reflect the street and buildings opposite, and there are people visible inside First Bite. A yellow car is partially visible parked near the storefront. The overall impression is of a quaint, possibly British, bakery storefront.

While on our way to Silloth, we stopped at First Bite in Langholm. The coffee and cake at this café are delicious, and Sticks and Stuff is also a great place to check out.

Informational sign detailing the history of Gilnockie/Hollows Tower. The sign includes a description of the tower's architecture, a brief history of its construction and destruction (and subsequent restoration), and its association with the infamous Johnnie Armstrong. Several photographs are included, showing the tower before and after renovation, as well as a depiction of Johnnie Armstrong and a map of the surrounding area. The text highlights the tower's significance within the Canonbie Heritage Trail and encourages a small puzzle, requiring visitors to find hidden letters across multiple boards.

We have yet to visit the Tower; however, we have discovered the local legend of Johnnie Armstrong.

Moss-covered stone carving of a face, partially embedded in the ground amidst fallen leaves in a wooded area. The carving features a headband with an inscription and a symbol, possibly pentagram, and appears weathered and aged. The overall effect is one of ancient mystery and integration with nature.
Weathered stone statue, reminiscent of a Moai statue from Easter Island, nestled amongst lush green moss and fallen brown leaves. The statue's face is carved with simple features, and its body is largely smooth. The overall impression is one of age, tranquility, and a connection to nature.
Moss-covered stone carving of a face. The face is somewhat weathered and appears serene, with simple features. The moss adds a natural, almost mystical quality to the sculpture. It's nestled within a bed of lush green foliage.
Moss-covered stone carving of a face. The carving is weathered and appears old, possibly situated outdoors in a garden setting. The face is somewhat stoic or melancholic in expression, with deep-set eyes. The stone itself is rough-textured, and the moss adds to the overall sense of age and integration with nature. A dried leaf rests on the top of the stone.
Weathered stone pillar with a metal plaque affixed to it. The plaque is an informational marker detailing the history of Gilnockie Castle. It states that the castle was built by Johnie Armstrong between 1525 and 1529, and that he was later hanged at Teviothead by James V of Scotland. The plaque further notes that the castle's stones were used to build the nearby Hollows Bridge in 1796, and that the pillar itself was erected by John Alan Armstrong to mark the historic site. The plaque also credits the Duke of Buccleuch and Queensberry for providing the stone for the pillar. A small depiction of the castle from an 18th-century map is included at the bottom.
Weathered stone carving of a human face, partially obscured by moss and nestled amongst lush green vegetation. The carving is deeply embedded in the stone, giving the face a somewhat solemn and ancient appearance. The overall scene evokes a sense of age, quietude, and perhaps even a touch of mystery.
View of a river flowing through a lush green forest. The river is visible through a dense canopy of trees, with the water appearing somewhat turbulent.

After locating a riverbank stop to enjoy our First Bite takeout, we drove into this location.

View of a river, possibly the River Esk, from a bridge. A weathered street sign reading RIVERESK is prominent in the foreground. Lush green vegetation lines both banks of the river, which flows from the background towards the viewer. The sky is overcast, with a mix of grey and some blue showing through.
High-angle view of a river flowing through a lush green landscape under a cloudy sky. The river is dark and calm, and its banks are lined with dense vegetation. The trees are full and green, suggesting it might be summertime.

After that, we drove directly to Silloth and parked behind an ice cream van facing the sea.

Coastal scene on a partly cloudy day. A curved concrete seawall runs along the left side of the frame, with the sea stretching to the horizon. Small waves are lapping against the wall. In the distance, a faint landmass or low-lying hills are visible against the sky. The sky is a mix of dark, heavy clouds and patches of clear blue. The overall mood is somewhat sombre yet peaceful.

The tide was in, the cold wind hurt my teeth whilst choppy waves rocked themselves upon Silloths long sea wall.

Dramatic coastal scene under a partly cloudy sky. The foreground features a partially submerged wooden ramp leading into a choppy sea. Beyond the ramp, a stone seawall extends to the right, leading toward a line of trees on a distant shore. The sky is a mix of bright blue and dark, brooding clouds, creating a strong contrast. The overall feeling is one of wild, dynamic nature, with the turbulent water emphasising the power of the sea.

Anglers fished with some patience, but had not caught much of a fish supper.

Person standing on a seawall, seemingly discarding something into the water. The individual is dressed in dark, waterproof clothing, suggesting inclement weather. Multiple fishing rods are visible along the wall, indicating a fishing location. The sea is choppy, and a cloudy sky dominates the background, reinforcing the impression of a somewhat stormy day. The overall scene feels somewhat bleak or solitary.
Person fishing from a seawall on a partly cloudy day. The person is seated, facing away from the camera, with their fishing rod extending out over the water. The seawall runs along a paved path that leads towards a line of trees and buildings in the distance. The sky is a mix of blue and grey clouds, suggesting a potentially changeable weather pattern.

I attempted to capture a panoramic photograph by pointing my camera toward the sea; however, waves pushed water through gaps in a concrete launch ramp.

Panoramic view of a wooden pier extending into a choppy sea. Waves are breaking against the pier's edge near a seawall. In the distance, a small building is visible, situated amongst some trees. The sky is partly cloudy, with patches of blue. The overall impression is of a somewhat stormy but beautiful coastal scene.

Turbulent and choppy waves.

Seascape under a dramatic, cloudy sky. Dark, churning waves crash against a man-made, stepped coastal structure that runs along the shoreline, beneath a line of dark trees. The overall mood is somewhat moody and powerful, emphasising the force of the ocean against the constructed barrier.

To see beyond outer darkness; from inner light. Charlie is eager to play Silloth's games. ⁣

Blue coin-operated viewfinder overlooking a body of water and a distant shoreline under a cloudy sky. The viewfinder is prominently featured in the foreground, with instructions visible on its face. The background is blurred, showing the expanse of water and a hazy landscape beyond. The overall mood is somewhat subdued due to the grey sky, but the scene is peaceful.

We also played table hockey, which Charlie won six games to four.

Charlie in a brown jacket playing a Hercules-branded arcade strength-testing game. The game involves hitting a target with a mallet to score points, as indicated by the illuminated scoreboard. He is in mid-swing, concentrating on the game. The setting appears to be an arcade, with various other game machines visible in the background. The overall mood is lighthearted and playful, characteristic of a recreational arcade environment

Standing in front of a locked pagoda under a moody sky was quite something.

Dramatic coastal scene under a brooding, dark sky. Heavy, grey clouds dominate the upper two-thirds of the frame, with a small break revealing a sliver of brighter sky and sunlight. The lower third shows a relatively calm, dark-grey sea lapping a paved shoreline backed by a grassy area with a few park benches. A distant landmass is visible on the horizon. The overall mood is somewhat ominous and atmospheric, suggesting an impending storm or a period of intense weather.

Whilst Charlie waited to get our fish and chips, I looked around Silloth. It's so strange that this store sells breast milk and locks of people's hair. Is it jewellery for inclusion?

Street-level view of a storefront for Cumbria Life Casting, a business that appears to specialise in life casting. The building is a light-colored, two-story structure with large windows. A red wheelie bin sits on the sidewalk in front of the shop. In the background, a smaller, brick building is partially visible. The overall setting suggests a residential or commercial area in a town or city. The sky is cloudy.

I am at odds with having my photographs automatically uploaded to iCloud, my friend repeating “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” still spooks me somewhat. I need to back up and download, then cancel my Apple subscription. We enjoyed our fish and chips, then drove south along the coastline.

Panoramic view of a beach scene on a sunny day. The beach is composed of sand and small pebbles. The sea is relatively calm with gentle waves lapping the shore. A single, small, light-colored house is visible in the distance on the left, situated on higher ground beyond the beach. The sky is mostly clear, with some fluffy white clouds. The overall impression is one of serenity and peaceful solitude.

We wound down our car roof, the breeze was wisp fresh as the sunlight radiated down upon us.

Path through beach grass leading to a wide, sandy beach and a calm sea under a partly cloudy sky. A single, distant figure is visible on the beach. Yellow wildflowers are in the foreground on the left, and pink flowers are on the right.

We briefly stopped at a car park at Beckfoot, pulling over to enjoy ice cream at Twentymans ice-cream Parlour in Allonby. We were both fatigued after a long day of activities, so we turned to Woodburn.