November 2024

29th

Do you ever feel emptied?

Leonie holding a copy of the book Running on Emptiness: The Pathology of Civilisation by John Zerzan. The book cover features a stylised image of a highway at night, densely packed with cars, their headlights creating streaks of light. The back cover includes a quote praising Zerzan's work as essential to understanding and potentially dismantling modern civilisation.

I've been purchasing books for Amazon (new), eBay (job lot, new and second hand) and at discount bookshops; but finding attention and focus to read them is hard.

Clear plastic bowl containing a mixture of dark-brown fruitcake batter and a pale yellow liquid, presumably a wet ingredient like beaten eggs or a custard base. A wooden spoon is partially visible in the bowl. The batter appears to be mostly mixed with the liquid, but some areas still show distinct separation.
Round baking tin containing a dark-coloured, fruit-filled mixture inside a domestic oven. The mixture appears to be baking and is glistening slightly. The oven is on and the interior is lit, casting a warm glow on the tin. The overall impression is one of home baking in progress.
Round cake, dark brown in colour, with visible dark raisins or currants throughout. The cake appears to be baked and is sitting in a dark grey, metallic baking pan on a light brown wooden cutting board. The cake's surface is slightly cracked.

I baked Charlie a fruit cake, he enjoys this energy cake at lunch during his work break; I know this recipe off by heart after two years of knowning Charlie.

28th

On the map, Falls of Clyde didn't seem that far, just a few miles North from Biggar. On the way, we stopped for some light lunch at a café in Innerleithen; this small town is a mecca of mountain bike riders, and is seemingly alternative.

Interior of a cosy cafe or coffee shop. The space is decorated with a rustic, somewhat bohemian aesthetic, featuring dried floral arrangements hanging from the ceiling, wooden shelving, and mismatched furniture. There are several patrons seated at tables, enjoying food and drinks. The overall atmosphere is relaxed and inviting, with a focus on natural materials and a warm colour palette.

This café reminded me of a vegan café I lived at during the year 1996; the café owner knew of the café which was located in Bristol, I think he said he was originally from reading. We walked along the high street, I purchased three sociology books at a discount bookshop. We parked our truck in New Lanark.

High-angle, long shot of a river flowing through a valley. On the far bank, there is a row of long, low buildings—possibly an old mill complex. The buildings are light-grey stone and appear somewhat aged. The immediate foreground shows a small parking area with a few cars and a small stone building near the riverbank. The river is dark and shows movement indicative of a current. The valley is covered with deciduous trees that appear to be in winter dormancy, with muted brown and grey tones. The sky is pale and overcast.

And walked a wooden walkway beside the River Clyde, towards the falls.

Dark grey wooden boardwalk winding through a tranquil riverside landscape. Bare, winter trees frame the path and a calm river flows to the right. The overall mood is serene and somewhat melancholic, reflecting the late afternoon or early evening light. The contrast between the dark path and the lighter river, along with the bare trees, emphasizes the stillness and quiet of the scene.
Tranquil lake scene, viewed from the edge of a wooded area. Bare, winter trees frame the view, their branches reaching towards the calm, dark water. A small, sparsely vegetated island or peninsula is visible in the middle ground, beyond which a denser forest line extends. The overall mood is serene, somewhat melancholic, reflective of a late autumn or early winter day.
Turbulent river viewed from above. The water is a mix of dark brown and white froth, suggesting a fast current and possibly a rocky riverbed. Bare, dark-coloured branches of trees and shrubs frame the scene in the foreground, partially obscuring the view of the water. The overall impression is one of a wild and somewhat rugged natural landscape.

Quite impressed by the hydro power station.

White, two-story building, possibly industrial or institutional in nature, situated behind a dark green metal fence. The building has several evenly spaced windows, and a simpler, smaller structure is visible to its left. The setting appears to be rural, with trees and a hint of frost or light snow on the ground visible beyond the fence. The overall impression is one of a somewhat secluded, possibly under utilised, building in a quiet wooded area.

Huge bolts!

Large metal turbine, possibly from a power station, displayed outdoors on a bed of reddish-brown mulch. Next to the turbine is an informational sign detailing the history of Bonnington Power Station. The setting appears to be a park or outdoor exhibit, enclosed by a wooden fence, with trees visible in the background. The overall impression is one of historical preservation and public education.
Two large, aged teal-coloured pipes extending from the foreground toward the background, set in a trench between overgrown vegetation. The pipes show signs of wear and moss growth. A wooden fence is visible to the right, and a sparse winter forest is in the background. The overall impression is one of age, possibly disuse, and a sense of industrial history located in a natural setting.
Low-angle view of a tall, light-coloured building with many large, multi-pained windows. Some of the windows are illuminated from within with a reddish glow. The building appears to be old, with a somewhat industrial or institutional aesthetic. The sky is clear and twilight.
Two large, aged, teal-coloured metal pipes extending from the foreground into the distance, disappearing into a wooded area. The pipes appear weathered, with some discoloration and moss growth. They are situated in a landscape of low vegetation, including grass and shrubs, with a metal fence partially visible in the bottom right corner. Trees and a mostly clear sky form the background. The overall impression is one of industrial infrastructure in a natural setting.

Hearing the falls provoked anticipation.

High-angle, long shot of a rocky riverbed with a dark, still pool of water. The river is nestled within a deep gorge or ravine. The sides of the gorge are densely wooded with bare deciduous trees and some evergreens, suggesting it's likely winter or late autumn. The overall colour palette is muted greys, browns, and dark greens. The scene evokes a sense of wild, secluded nature.
High-angle, long shot of a waterfall cascading down a rocky cliff face, nestled within a dense, dark forest. The water flows into a dark pool at the bottom. The trees are mostly bare, suggesting it might be autumn or winter. The sky is overcast, with a muted light suggesting either early morning or late afternoon. The overall mood is serene and somewhat sombre, emphasising the natural power and beauty of the waterfall within its secluded environment.
Waterfall cascading down dark, rocky cliffs, surrounded by leafless, winter trees. The water flows in multiple stages, creating a series of smaller falls before pooling at the bottom. The overall scene is one of muted, natural beauty, characteristic of a cold or late autumn/early winter landscape.
Waterfall cascading down dark, rocky cliffs. The water is white and appears somewhat frothy near the bottom. Bare branches of trees are visible in the upper left corner, partially obscuring the top of the waterfall. The overall tone is dark and somewhat moody.

Darkness had descended upon New Lanark by the time we had returned to our truck.

Twilight view of a river flowing through a town nestled in a valley. On the far side of the river, several stone buildings, possibly mills or apartments, are illuminated, showing warm lights in their windows. The buildings are situated on a hillside covered with dark trees. In the foreground, a portion of a dark, tree-lined riverbank is visible, along with a parking area containing a few cars. The overall mood is serene and somewhat melancholic, enhanced by the dim light of dusk.

Returning to Roberton we drove down the M74 rather than use the lengthy A72 through Peebles et al.

23rd

Snow has reached the Scottish Borders, all this whiteness sure looks pretty settled upon Woodburn Farmhouse.

Snow-covered landscape featuring a small, white, two-story house with a dark chimney. The house is situated down a snowy driveway, bordered by a low wooden fence. A small, dark trailer is parked in the driveway. The background includes a snow-dusted hillside with a line of dark evergreen trees. The overall scene is peaceful and wintry, with a muted colour palette dominated by whites and greys.

The drive from Ancrum to the farmhouse was slush mush. Passing through Roberton we saw Colin on his quad, presumably on his way to tend to his flock.

Snowy winter scene viewed from inside a car. A red ATV with a small trailer is slowly moving down a narrow snow-covered road ahead. A red SUV is parked on the roadside, also covered in snow. The overall impression is one of a quiet, rural setting in the midst of a snowfall.
Snow-covered rural road, viewed from inside a vehicle. The road is flanked by snow-covered fences, beyond which are snow-covered fields and a hillside. In the foreground are snow-covered hay bales, partially obscured by the fence. The overall impression is one of a quiet, wintry scene in a rural landscape.

The sheep are hungry, time to place the bale into the ring feeder.

Charlie in a blue work suit and boots standing outside a snow-covered sheep pen. A border collie dog is visible inside the pen with a flock of sheep. The scene is set in a rural, snowy landscape. The overall impression is one of cold, hard work, and rural life in winter.

Ready to role this bale of hay into the ring feeder.

Snow-covered rural scene. A large round bale of hay, heavily coated in snow, dominates the foreground. A border collie dog stands in the snow in the mid-ground, near a snow-covered animal shelter or barn. In the background, a dilapidated trailer or wagon is partially visible, also covered in snow. Footprints are visible in the snow, leading towards the shelter.
Charlie in a barn during a snowstorm. He's wearing a blue work suit and a hat, and is tending to a large round bale of hay that is inside a sheep pen. The bale is netted and sits within a metal feeding rack. Sheep are visible in the pen. The barn structure appears rustic and temporarily covered with a tarp. A security camera is visible in the upper left corner. The scene evokes a sense of rural life and hard work in challenging weather conditions.

And straw for their bedding.

A bale of hay sitting in the snow next to a wooden fence and gate. A pitchfork leans against the gate. Other debris and snow-covered items are visible in the background, suggesting a rural or farm setting. The overall tone is wintry and somewhat rustic.
Interior of a rustic sheep barn. Charlie is seen in the background carrying hay, while numerous sheep of various colors are penned inside, eating hay on the straw-covered floor. The barn is simply constructed, with wooden walls and a temporary, white tarp-like roof. The overall impression is one of a working farm environment, focused on the care and keeping of livestock.

Purchased heating oil 3 days before snow came; relieved to see boiler steam again.

Steam rises from what appears to be a heating or exhaust vent on the side of a building, possibly a barn or outbuilding. A wooden fence is partially visible, covered in snow, and in the background, a flock of sheep is grazing on a snow-covered hillside. The overall atmosphere is cold, and the steam contrasts with the frosty environment. The scene suggests a farm or rural homestead in winter.
Nextbase dashcam mounted on a vehicle's windshield. The dashcam's screen displays a recording of a building or structure in what appears to be an outdoor setting, possibly a yard or parking area. The windshield itself is slightly fogged or misty. The background of the main image, outside the dashcam's view, is blurry but shows a dark, out-of-focus scene.

Fixed the dash cam whilst Charlie tended to coos. We've had a problem with memory cards irreversibly corrupting.

21st

Charlie came to my house in Acrum after a blood test in Hawick; he appeared sick and rang himself as unfit to work. Later in the afternoon we visited the Waterloo Monument. The Waterloo Monument near Ancrum in the Scottish Borders is a 150-foot tower, built between 1817 and 1824 to commemorate the Battle of Waterloo.

A dirt path winding through a dense forest. The path is lined with low-lying vegetation, including ferns and other shrubs. Sunlight filters through the trees, casting shadows on the path. Charlie is visible in the distance, walking along the path, adding a sense of scale and suggesting a journey or exploration. The overall impression is one of serenity and the quiet beauty of nature.
A path leading through a wooded area towards a tall, slender stone tower situated atop a hill. The trees are mostly bare, suggesting it might be autumn or winter. The sky is a clear, bright blue. The overall impression is one of serenity and a sense of journey or exploration.

We drove through a bump track, a fair distance until we reached the foot of the hill. Today Sam the sheep dog is with us; I've been looking after him for the last three days.

Tall, slender stone tower standing atop a gently sloping hill. The hill is covered in low-lying vegetation, partly browned and withered, with a dusting of snow on the ground. The sky is a clear, vibrant blue, indicating a sunny, cold day.

I enjoy including Charlie in my blog, other than appearing on these pages, he has nothing other to do with this or any other websites I create. For many years I only blogged about myself because I was isolated alone.

Charlie walking his dog on a frosty path through a sunlit pine forest. The ground is lightly covered in frost. A simple wooden stile or fence is visible in the background, adding to the peaceful, rural setting.
Snow-dusted path leading uphill towards a tall, slender stone tower situated on a hilltop against a clear blue sky. The foreground is dominated by the frost-covered grass and low-lying vegetation. The overall scene is peaceful and evokes a sense of quiet solitude in a natural landscape.

The walk to the top was brisk, as chilling wind gained momentum. Charlie struggled to grip due to lack of tread on his shoes so I took hold of Sam.

Tall, stone tower standing on a grassy hilltop under a clear blue sky. Charlie and his dog are visible in the distance, near the base of the tower. The expansive landscape stretches out behind the tower, offering a panoramic view of rolling hills and fields. The scene evokes a feeling of wide open space and tranquillity.
Stone structure, possibly a monument or tomb, with a metal grate set into the wall. A plaque above the grate provides coordinates and elevation information. A small bouquet of pink flowers and a piece of white paper are visible through the grate. The shadow of Leonie who is taking a picture is cast on the wall next to the structure. The overall impression is one of quiet remembrance and respect, possibly at a historical site. The flowers suggest a recent visit and tribute for someone buried or honoured there.
Tall, slender stone tower against a vibrant blue sky. The tower is constructed of dark, rough-hewn stones, and features a smaller, octagonal structure at its apex. Near the base, a small, barred doorway is visible. The base of the tower is wider, providing a stable foundation. The surrounding landscape appears to be open and grassy, suggesting a hilltop or elevated location. The overall impression is one of age, perhaps historical significance, and a sense of isolation or grandeur.

Viewable from the panoramic summit are the Cheviot Hills, Rubis Law hill, Elidon hills and Monteath Mausoleum. We didn't look for Minto and Smailholm towers but sure they are also visible. Landscape of the surrounding area had the appearance of a Hillfort.

Panoramic view of a Scottish landscape. From an elevated vantage point, possibly a hilltop, the viewer looks out over a patchwork of farmland, interspersed with dark green forests and lighter-coloured fields. In the distance, rolling hills stretch to the horizon under a clear, bright blue sky with a few wispy clouds. A hint of snow is visible on the ground in the foreground. The overall impression is one of serene, expansive countryside under a beautiful sky.
Panoramic view of a gently rolling landscape under a bright, sunny sky. The foreground shows a grassy hill with patches of what appears to be frost or light snow. In the mid-ground, the land stretches into the distance, revealing a relatively flat horizon punctuated by dark green forests. The background is dominated by a clear, azure sky with only a few wispy clouds, and the sun is prominent, creating lens flare.
Panoramic view of a grassy hilltop on a clear, sunny day. A tall, slender stone tower stands prominently near the center, overlooking a vast expanse of rolling hills and fields stretching to the horizon under a brilliant blue sky. The foreground is covered in short, dry grass with scattered rocks, and a person's shadow is visible in the mid-ground.
Tall, slender stone tower standing atop a grassy hill against a clear, bright blue sky. Charlie stands near the base of the tower, providing a sense of scale. The overall impression is one of serenity and perhaps historical significance, given the tower's age and design.

There were no usual information signs explaining what this monument represented, and I'm aghast at how long it took for me to visit this place that dominates the landscape.

Book cover for Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric Berne, M.D. The cover is predominantly blue, featuring the title in large white font and two dice—one with a question mark and gender symbols representing male and female, and the other with a heart and the same gender symbols—suggesting the game-like nature of human interactions and relationships.

Today I recieved an ordered book about transactional analysis from Amazon titled "The Games People Play". It's taking time to fill my lovely bookcase with great books. I've been interested in purchasing this book after a staff nurse reccomended it to me, he began reading the book after I described "games" peope were playing on a acute ward where I was an inpatient; he took interest because psychartrists always described my accusations as beliefs, not delusions. Aling mental health, altleast for me, is triggered by environmental factors.

20th

Look at these two books that arrived today, been waiting a while to order these!

Two books lying on a wooden surface. The book on the left, Disordered Minds: How Dangerous Personalities Are Destroying Democracy by Ian Hughes, features a distressed American flag on its cover. The book on the right, Political Ponerology: The Science of Evil, Psychopathy, and the Origins of Totalitarianism by Andrew M. Lobaczewski, displays a dark cover with stylized pills representing different totalitarian regimes. Both books explore themes of political psychology and the dangers of destructive ideologies.

I've also purchased a cheap Geiger counter! I'm using this to scan my food, and some antiques.

White GQ brand Geiger counter, model GMC-300S. The device has a small LCD screen, several buttons (including power, up, down, and reset), and a textured side panel. It appears to be new, possibly still in its packaging.

I am now at odds about attaining radioactive samples (available on eBay) to calibrate my new detector. Tubes inside these detectors are slow measuring a reading (sensitivity needed during motion detection), that is why they are cheap. This detector was £70, they can be purchased from less known manufactures for around £50. For a half decent detector expect to pay between £300 to £500, the very cheap detectors will give you a false reading, notably come as phone attachments et al, they do not work. EMF detectors are somewhat cheaper.

19th

Charlie took me for a drive across the Scottish Borders, today I'm depressed about my eleven year estranged elder brother (only surviving direct family member) taken by a secret society suspected to be co-freemasonry; it was his birthday today, years he's shunned contact, I have not known him to be alive or dead; just renunciated dead toward me it seems.

Landscape of rolling hills and valleys under a pale blue sky. The hills are predominantly brown and tan, with patches of reddish-brown and green vegetation suggesting a late autumn or early winter setting. A simple wooden fence post is visible in the foreground, indicating a potentially rural or sparsely populated area. The overall impression is one of peaceful, wide-open space and rugged natural beauty.
Tranquil landscape of rolling hills under a clear blue sky. The foreground shows dry, golden-brown grass, possibly touched by frost, leading the eye towards a valley where a scattering of sheep graze on reddish-brown vegetation. In the mid-ground and background, a range of gently sloping hills stretches out, with a strip of dark green coniferous forest visible in the middle distance.
Tranquil landscape, likely a moorland or upland area. The foreground is dominated by tall, dry grasses swaying gently. In the mid-ground and background are rolling hills, their surfaces a mix of muted browns and greens. A partially obscured sun shines through a layer of thin, grey clouds that stretch across most of the sky.
Long, straight road winding through a valley between rolling hills under a partly cloudy sky. The sun is visible through a break in the clouds near the horizon. The overall colour palette is muted, primarily consisting of browns, greys, and blues. The scene is peaceful and evokes a sense of vastness and solitude.

Returning to Roberton via Borthaugh.

Charlie walking towards a ford, a shallow place in a stream that can be crossed by wading. A sign indicates the ford is only suitable for agricultural vehicles. The scene is rural, with a farmhouse and fields visible in the background, set against a backdrop of trees and hills under a mostly clear sky. The overall impression is one of peaceful, rural isolation.

Charlie checked the depth of a ford before we crossed over the River Borthwick. The water was deeper than it appeared but our L200 had no trouble crossing, even had no issue with climbing up a tall verge. I was too anxious to film it!