July 2024

31st

Photographing birds from my living room window, coming and going about their business. There are so many birds in Ancrum, I cleaned my windows yesterday, especially for this.

These birds are easy to photograph from behind a clean window.

28th

I'm relaxing at the farmhouse; after yesterdays mayhem, I need quiet day without worry.

In the farmhouse kitchen garden our Beetroot and Onions are growing nicely.

Thankfully there is not much weeding to do here this weekend. Excited to discover our beans have reached the top of the canes props.

Potatoes have sprung up wonderfully, and the area we left to seed is more or less harvested. I have planned to have a spinach and herb raised garden in the area.

Tractor problems have stalled mucking out the ploy tunnel.

Thought I'd take some pictures of our farmhouse front garden.

Charlie has found newts in our garden pond, second year running.

I'm enjoying sharing my interests via teaching Charlie how to use my bridge camera. This is one of his first photographs, I think he has an eye for photography.

27th

We've had a series of bad luck today, first our sheep absconded, afterwards we found the tractor flat, then the tractor broke down, and finally an accident with our truck towing the tractor. The morning began with me strimming the paddock of dock leafs; the tractor topper is still not working. Charlie loaded the truck with junk to take to Hawick refuse tip. Returning to Woodburn we found the tractor tire flat.

As usual I followed Charlie in the truck until we had left Woodburn, I parked and waited for him to arrive half way to Craik.

We took both air pumps as we did not know how long the tyre would remain inflated; the tractor was running so well, feels as though we been sabotaged. This is the sort of thing the spiteful "enablers" do; cultivating failures to realign victims with "deserving" disparities.

What are you doing Léonie? I'm waiting for Charlie to arrive in his tractor.

Before Charlie could pass by I travelled ahead to Craik.

I waited forty-five minutes and still no Charlie, so returned my way to find his tractor had overheated, a mile from the Craik. Disappointed to see this third bad event today.

Turning over the tractor transmission sounded awful, hoping the engine does not cease. The oil filter had been removed to see if oil was circulating around the engine.

We returned to Woodburn Farmhouse to fetch a chain to tow the tractor.

I wasn't happy with this from the start, and my anxiety was proven founded. Along the way the tractor slammed into the back of the truck, ruining the read door and smashing the window clean out.

This was our forth bad luck even of the day, so much to bad luck arriving in threes. We definitely require a new car now. Whilst at the Craik, we had a report our missing sheep had been found at Craikhope outdoor centre; alas some good news.

Sheep always come to the sound of a crinkly plastic feed bag. Charlie herded the sheep past our truck, walked around the sheep and climbed into the truck; which we used to guide them back to their grazing fields.

Charlie was uncomfortable with the truck herding them, and insisted we drive ahead and park the truck sidewards to guide the sheep through the field gate. After twenty-five minutes the sheep arrived and walked into the field without much coercion.

Charlie and our friend fixed the gap in the fence where the sheep had escaped, waiting I noticed the midges are not that bad as they were a month ago here.

Returning to the farmhouse we noticed a rainbow had appeared over our paddock; today had been awkward, but we refused to let bad luck get to us.

25th

Late in the evening I decided to enjoy my hame village of Ancrum, with a walk by Ale Water. The temperature was pleasantly mild as the sun slowly lowered, I walked alone, but I did not feel as though I was alone.

Charlie rang five minutes after I returned home at 9pm, he cooked us an evening meal, we watched X-files, then he retired to bed whilst I finished this diary entry.

24th

Today I am gardening, and painting and decorating my house in Ancrum. The weather is hot and slightly humid, I've been digging and filling in borders with compost, ready to box hedge my garden boundaries.

I've lived in Ancrum one month and attitudes have drastically changed towards me; it is as though I am being character assassinated everywhere I go.

23rd

We woke at my house in Ancrum, then travelled to Woodburn Farmhouse and began tagging tup lambs to sell at Longtown. Charlie had not castrated many tup lambs, one or two were untidy, they could not be taken because of their mucky bums. Two lambs left there mother ewes, four other lambs had been cade. Charlie had already separated half of the flock from the paddock the night before; so the lambs were waiting for us when we arrived.

In a way I feel for them, their uncertainty, but we all face fate; and I know nothing is more crueller in this world than infinite cruelties committed by nature, how utterly stupid and sometimes naive people are to hubris worship a "mother" of nature.

Why did nature not ordain that one animal should not live by the death of another?

In an 1856 letter to Joseph Dalton Hooker, Charles Darwin remarked sarcastically on the cruelty and wastefulness of nature, describing it as something that a "Devil's chaplain" could write about.

The stronger prey upon the weaker, and keep them in perpetual terror and anxiety.

Buddhists also regard suffering experienced by animals in nature as evidence for the truth of dukkha. Buddhist scripture Aṅguttara Nikāya describes the lives of wild animals as "so cruel, so harsh, so painful". Anyhow, the mother ewes seemed not stressed to have their lambs taken, they are now over five months old and are more or less weaned.

Charlie ushers lambs together into a pen then sorts through the lambs to be tagged and transported; first to leave the pen was our Herdwick mother ewe and her ewe lamb.

Charlie makes a note of the ear tag numbers to write into the transport book later. You can't just move livestock anywhere at anytime, everything has to be logged. Below our Herdwick x Teeswater tup lamb awaits to be tagged.

We believe that kindness is always the right approach towards shepherding, a crook is used to lengthen the reach of an arm, and never should be used to strike punishment. As humans we are humane, compassion in farming is essential for us, and the animals. However we always must be on our guard in hindsight of irrational cruelties of nature.

There is nothing wrong with taking time over crofting, idiots shear sheep in 10 seconds, shepherding is very wrong when sheep cannot be afforded diligent care to welfare. We don't have many sheep, in 1 3/4 years I lived at Woodburn our flock hasn't exceeded 70.

The trailer was loaded with six lambs.

These lambs did not get to go to market, this evening they are to be wormed, dagged and treated against any potential maggot infestation.

As we were about to leave a neighbouring farmer waved to me, we, me and Charlie have played him at Carpet Bowls; his two sons farm a large area of the surrounding valley.

Its an old familiar drive down to Longtown via Langholm, from the Scottish Borders, through Dumfries and Galloway, then into England, roadworks break up monotony.

We arrived at Longtown mart, docked and unloaded our lambs.

After a cooked breakfast we visited the holding pens to see the lambs one last time before they are sold; this auction mart is kept in good condition.

Charlie fell asleep in our truck as the lambs waited to be auctioned.

Not tired enough to sleep, from the stuffy truck I visited a nearby lake for a breeze of air. Six lambs sold for £130 which Charlie thought undercut, and I wondered if lambs only being valued for their meat (because the wool industry has been destroyed) is the causation of such a disparity. Our lambs to other lambs are small but have lovely wool.

21st

After nagging Charlie out of bed on his day off work he drove to the Craik Forest, delivering our topper for repair and top our friends field. After hooking the topper to the tractor, Charlie set off on a six mile journey to the Craik Forest, whilst I followed closely behind in our truck.

Here comes Charlie driving his David Brown International.

And returns to Woodburn Farm, that's 14 miles.

Beans, Potatoes, Onions and Beetroot have grown, but so have weeds including nettles, docks and a pink flower weed I can't identify in the Farmhouse Kitchen.

20th

Woodburn farmhouse is requiring some TLC after spending so much time at my house in Ancrum; but defining moments reignite continuation. This song keeps running through my mind, recalled from a Flatt and Scruggs bluegrass cover version. I'm going to learn this song on my banjo.

Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone?
The girl has picked them every one
Oh, when will you ever learn?
Oh, when will you ever learn?

When I was photographing flowers in the front garden, after I'd strimmed the lawn; that's when the tune entered my head, fuck their commie songs, and their "deprivation lessons".

Sheepdog Sam.

Lambs.

In the afternoon we drove into the Craik Forest to shear, worm and spray several ewes and lambs; swarms of large flies were feisty.

Three horrible goats, they hate our flock and am sure the feeling is mutual.

I carry hurdles also.

The flock were very agile with hyper-vigilance, shepherding in the forest is much harder.

After a few more attempts we herded all the sheep into the pen.

Firstly we drench treated the lambs for worms.

Charlie dagged the lambs whilst checking for maggots.

This is the last mother ewe to be sheared, all sheep have been hand sheared this year.

Charlie thinks we missed this ewe last year, the fleece was in too poor condition to spin.

We drove out of the Craik forest for Woodburn.

Driving along the forest track is no longer a problem as I know where all the pot holes are. Whilst editing this web page through a side window I photographed a bird outside.

Isn't photography great, snapped about 9000 pictures with this bridge camera.

19th

At my house I'm busy with gardening, relocating bushes, planting box hedging and digging up putrid smelling lillies.

Today I received a phone call from the nurse who took my bloods a few days ago; she reported my liver having "long term" problems, that the count was elevated at 247, with the normal range being between 16 and 36. The blood test is being redone, depending on results from my stool tests; if the result is the same I'll be called in for an ultrasound.

I'm suffering from auditory hallucination today so keeping myself busy with gardening and house decorating. Later Charlie will drive me to Roberton for quiet weekend away at Woodburn Farm; I've healed so much from him and his sheep being present in my life; often I pinch myself, wipe a tear from eye, how wonderful it is to believe I have a home.

Charlie came, slept for an hour and a half after taking a shower. We drove to Hawick, picked up some supplies at Sainsbury supermarket, I'm so angry that this town completely shunned me for 18 months I barely acknowledge its existence. Whilst in transit I checked my voice mail and was happy to hear my homelessness case has now been closed by Scottish Borders Council; officially I am no longer homeless. I am ending the evening at Woodburn Farm, the open fire is lit, I've eaten, and will soon be to bed.

18th

After watching two episodes of X-files, leaving my house in Ancrum, Charlie drove our truck to a field beside Timpendean Tower. From the truck we walked through a long grass field, dodging large cow pats along the way. Charlie was weary about the presence of Galloway coos but I kept my mind on getting to the tower; not wanting to envision a problem before us.

We noticed earthwork fortifications behind us.

Outside.

Inside.

We arrived at dusk, insufficient daylight effected the quality of these pictures.

Fire place, Charlie admires the view.

Fatlips Tower, the Waterloo Monument and the village of Ancrum were visible from Tipendean tower. My bridge camera was missed.

Waterloo tower.

Timpendean tower.

We were alone at the tower, there was no litter and access was not prohibited in any way. Charlie was stressed at the coos, attempting to negotiate around them; I refused to give coos fear space in my head. Visiting passed quickly, holding onto only a memory.