May 2023

18th

Early rise this morning, we spent three hours gardening. After ripping out several rows of stinging nettles I began to mow the front garden, tearing up masses of dock leaf plants to find a nest. I came within inches of a poor partridge sitting on her eggs. Charlie motioned to stop everything and pull back, lucky for us after five minutes the partridge had returned to incubate her nest.

The other thing we had planned was to weed the vegetable patch, to the rear of the farmhouse. Breaking the soil we noticed the presence of worms, this is a good sign, but also strange flies appeared, we had no idea what they were so left them be. I forked out large clumps of nettles whilst Charlie turned over the soil. We managed to plant one row of potatoes before retiring for a coffee. The poorly lamb, sick from eating too much wheat, was found dead this morning; made Charlie promise me he won't feed lambs wheat again.

16th

Risen at 6:30am to load and transport lambs and ewes to Longtown market. The A7 was empty between Hawick and Langholm, other than one speeding black mini car. We arrived early, I watched Charlie unload three ewes and lambs then show his transportation book.

Unloading sheep begins early but most turn up minutes before the end. Here an Armstrong transport lorry delivers a flock of sheep, home of the Armstrong clan is only a few miles up the road at wee Gilnockie tower.

They put sawdust on the floors of these gated pens, so the sheep don't slip.

Outside of the auction hall is painted in garish blue, inside was pictured last month.

Charlie claimed he wasn't emotional, but wanted to visit the sheep that he'd looked after, for almost three generations. Today we said goodbye to monster sheep but this is Ewes and Lambs day, nothing here, will be sold on for slaughter.

The women in the cafe were unsociable, second visits are always sour, and I tasted that in the breakfast they served us. Returning to the farmhouse Charlie stopped at Ewes water to use the public facilities whilst I had took a foot dip into a shallow length of river.

We were extremely low on petrol once returned to the farmhouse. As the sheep were fed and watered, we found a lamb alone, unsteady on her feet. Charlie asserted the lamb had eaten too much wheat, and was drunk, the diarrhoea from its stomach attempting to unblock an acuminated restriction. Charlie rang the market and found we had made for the sale of the sheep, the number given over the phone was what he had predicted.

After a stroll around Hawick high street, purchasing two dresses and a practice chanter, we returned to my flat. I cooked Charlie a favourite family casserole named Panackelty, with the exact same ingredients my mother used when I was hungry at the dinner table as a little child. My mother was 1 of 12 children; I have over thirty cousins around the North East of England although none of them talk or want to know me!

15th

Returned at midnight to my flat, disturbed to have been listening via CCTV to the disturbed dog barking for over ten minutes at the farmhouse. We have the building cover 360 degrees, with motion detection and A.I tracking survelience. Night vision can track movement in the woodland, five-hundred yards away, the camera also provides the farmhouse with a front garden / porch light. I am not so sure about patchy WIFI , if I would purchase again I'd have the cameras capable of being wired and networked through LAN . Another sunny morning, I had a peaceful nights sleep, Charlie slept well also but overslept and thus was late for work. He's a hard worker, his rough hands are full of calluses; he is a tired man, but by no means broken. I have two philosphy books waiting to be read on my table, they are Critque of Judgement and Critque of Pure Reason, both are written by Emmanuel Kant. I've also been learning the "tin whistle" I purchased in Berrick several weeks ago.

14th

Summer is here, the morning sunshine has a warm, vibrant presence. Today we continued to muck out the farmyard; with the help of a friend, she didn't enjoy the obnoxious smell of rotting silage mixed with sheep poo but made a second attempt at getting stuck into the smelly but necessary job, that Charlie, who did the entire job, alone last year states a marathon, not a sprint.

Deciding to go look for two missing lambs I walked up the lane, whilst Charlie navigated his ascent upwards through the paddock. I walked through a wooden gate, and across pasture to find two lambs cuddled up together.

We came across a yellow flower named Viola lutea subsp. calaminaria before walking into a mushroom circle.

Charlie stopped for a long time to look for two lost lambs. He has helped these sheep grow by taking care of them from generation to generation.

We drove our car to the top of the glen at dusk, parked it in a passing spot, and watched the sun go down.

After preparing a Sunday roast dinner, we accompanied our friend to her flat in Hawick, where we observed her safely enter. After Charlie went to sleep, I stayed up for an hour in my flat, spending my final waking hour updating this blog.

13th

Charlie asked me where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do on my birthday. I decided to explore a brief section of the Scottish Borders' coastline. Along the route, we made a stop in Duns, a small town, where we sat outside a café amid a display of rally cars and had coffee and a sandwich. Our first stop, Eyemouth, was overtaken by numerous fast-moving, reckless vehicles.

After taking off his shoes and socks, Charlie said that the seawater was too cold. Walked across the shore to the harbour, and when Charlie stopped, I had the opportunity to take his picture; he usually doesn't mind if I take pictures of him from a distance.

We played a shooting game at an amusement arcade before making our way back to the car across the harbour. The attendant came to compliment what a good shot I was, awesome. We then decided to drive to a small fishing village of Saint Abbs.

Due to a medication side effect, Charlie needed to use the restroom, so we took a car down to Coldingham Bay.

Thirteen pounds and twenty pence were the cost of coffee and cake at the beach café. I relished jam sponge, a dessert I hadn't had since I was in school, some thirty-four years ago. We travelled south via Eyemouth to Burnmouth, the final seaside town in the Scottish Borders before England. Now, this place was quiet, but this isolated space was not stagnated.

What you see and don't see obscured behind angles and unfocused from elaborate detail, from a panoramic photograph.

On our return to Hawick, we traversed previous towns, including Duns. During this journey, I observed a stone carving that featured the Red Hand and the word "Industry."

Searching for a cooked birthday meal, we went into Kelso. After exploring the market square, we came across a restaurant and placed an order for a generous portion of fish and chips.

Went to see our friend, who prepared a huge birthday cake for me and gave me a birthday card and some cashmere gloves. After Charlie took a cat nap, he drove to Bonchester Bridge, but the place was crowded with bikers who were travelling or camping. We finished the night in Denholm, where we played pool and listened to sad pop songs and watched videos on a widescreen TV while the pub landlord controlled the remote.

Later, I was joined by Charlie and another friend, and I was glad to not be alone on this birthday to reflect on the solitude of the previous year in Dalry and Saltcoats. At that time, I regarded myself as fortunate to be consuming a crumbled blueberry muffin and a can of 50p lentil soup for my birthday meal. I was served table drinks at a Wetherspoon pub by two friends who were located hundreds of miles away. The drinks were purchased remotely using a mobile phone application. A buffet of alcoholic beverages was presented to me at the pub, and two couples who were dining together commented on my solitary appearance.

12th

Today, Charlie awoke me with a bottle of wine and a birthday card that had been left on his doorstep by a friendly neighbour.

I was startled by the sound of smoke alarms this morning, which were set off by starting an open fire in the farmhouse. To draw flames through the fuel and up into the chimney, I employed wax wood chip firelighters. Subsequently, I was overly generous with the night lights, which resulted in the igniting of a wooden board. Whoops! From the upstairs farmhouse side window, I threw the burning board to the side winds. The neighbour who left the card has something he wants to sell, so we went to see him. To avoid straining my eyes, I drove to Galashiels to get a new pair of reading glasses. A man slowed down in his car to inform us that a sheep had been eaten at the first grass keep, which we had stopped to inspect. We suspect that the lamb was killed by either a badger or a fox, as it had facial injuries and appeared bewildered. The sheep at the second grass keep are almost better after getting sick with Scold, which is good news because we don't want a flock of lame sheep.

Charlie and I spoke about how I was hesitant to take Sam, the farmhouse dog, for a walk because he had bitten me. I said "once bitten," and Charlie replied "twice shy." I thought this must be a proverb for people with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Furthermore, I'll be 49 years old tomorrow, and we have plans for my birthday. This will be the first birthday in five years that I haven't spent alone.

10th

I have no pants or jeans to give Charlie because I only wear dresses, so I had to dry them out on the radiator. Upon taking a moment to contemplate, I presented him with a pair of velvet black pyjama bottoms adorned with gold stars. Although he donned them, it was evident that he was apprehensive about being observed in them.

I have five hours to finish editing my blog today; I need to upload a few more pages before I clean up the remaining code. Now that this is done, I can focus on making new content. The gorgeous lilies that Charlie bought me yesterday are blooming this morning.

9th

This morning, Charlie moved our friend into her new flat. It makes me feel good to know that we helped her with a tough situation, which, I think, is a feeling of separation and loneliness similar to what I had been through for years. In the afternoon, I attended to the sheep. I am optimistic that she will not stray and will establish connections in the Scottish Borders. Except for the kitchen being cleaner, she left my flat exactly as she found it! ⁣

We gathered antibacterial aerosol spray, hurdles, sheers, clippers, and wormer at the farmhouse. The sound of hungry ewes and lambs jeered at us, especially a large ewe who was dubbed the "monster sheep" due to her size.

We erected this to make sure the lambs, from their mother ewes, got enough pellets to eat, and I was thrilled to see them using their creep. I called two missing cade lambs from a distance up the paddock. Typically, they would run to me, but as they age, they are increasingly relying on sight rather than sound.

I find the farmhouse to be an enchanting location, where life is abundant and productivity is prioritized in the preservation of time. The rear window could be seen because the loaded car was almost fully loaded. Today's temperature is warm, and the ground is getting dusty.

Today, our objective was to examine and address the scald on the lambs' hooves, which is a frequent occurrence during the early spring. Five lambs and their mother ewes were confined and corralled in a paddock. Only one lamb with a fever around the hoof was given an antibiotic injection. Some of the worst lambs were dipped in a jam jar (we don't have a run here) with a mild copper sulphate solution, which is bright blue in colour. All of them were then sprayed with Cetrigen, an antibacterial spray that gave their hooves a deep purple colour.

Because most of the paddock's grass had been eaten, we relocated the flock to a nearby paddock where they could enjoy fresh salad and a beautiful burn that ran through the long, dark green grass. I watched and recorded Charlie crossing an old wooden foot bridge after he had to fix the perimeter fence with hurdles and twine.

Got a light lunch at a cooperative supermarket, which included two Cornish pasties, two chocolate bars, and a packet of Jaffa cakes. The other day, a woman said she wanted coffee, then changed her mind to tea, and then back to coffee. How can you be sure? Asked an old Highland terrier. "Why don't you like orange juice with breakfast?"

We travelled to the second grass keep, driving pass the first grass keep. One of the sheep approached us, while the other sheep struggled on her legs. Charlie didn't believe me when I said that this lamb would be easy to catch, and he was so right. The poor lamb would go from limping to running as though she had never hobbled at all, encircling the flock three times before she was apprehended.

It was much more difficult to round up the other sheep because of the Dorset ewe's agility, edginess, and jolting from us. We are worried about her increased wildness, given that she was amiable and approachable before moving to the grass keep. As soon as we caught her, Charlie trimmed her hooves.

Charlie mentioned that there were two alternatives: either we transport the mother ewe and her ill lamb in the back of the car and return them to the farmhouse paddock, or we return to the farmhouse paddock, retrieve some lambs, and then transport the ewe and her ill lamb back to the farmhouse paddock using the trailer. I opted for the latter.

After that, we went back and forth to the farmhouse twice more. We had intended to buy fast food but got there too late. I went back to the flat, cooked sausage and chips, ran Charlie a bath, and washed his jeans before falling asleep on the couch. At 2am, I woke up and dragged my tired body to bed.

7th

During the day, the ailing lamb is unable to stand and swallow the milk from the bottle. I've agreed to let nature take the lamb away. She is spending her last moments with her mother ewe. We did everything we could to save this lamb, but she was close to dying when we found her. We should have started giving her solid food sooner.

Many of our lambs are limping, which, we think, is due to scald, which is common in early spring.

Charlie intended to take us to Scots viewpoint to view the Eildon hills after visiting the two grass keeps. The view was significantly more verdant, with bright yellow gorse announcing its presence, compared to my previous visit.

We returned to the farmhouse in the evening to discover that the lamb was in a state of distress, lying in the same spot for ten hours without movement, yet still breathing. Thirty minutes later, Charlie asked us to stay inside while he put the lamb out of her misery. The mother ewe had wandered up to the top of the paddock, was nowhere to be seen; however, two cade lambs were nearby. After returning to the flat, I served fried chicken and chips that were undercooked; a haphazard endeavour that resulted in a greasy mess on the kitchen surfaces. It was challenging to fall asleep.

5th

Happy birthday to my friend, who has relocated to the Scottish Borders after a distressing period in Cornwall.

At the farm, the poorly lamb is declining enough for Charlie to say, "don't be sad if the lamb dies today". As I walked across the paddock, I saw the lamb shaking by the ring feeder, not with the ewe. The weather has been rough. After feeding the lambs and ewes, my friend and I separated the weak lamb from the mother ewe. The poorly nourished lamb, despite not being able to suckle, still possesses a swallowing reflex. Only a tiny bit of milk is coming out of the mouth, and bottle feeding has made a very slight improvement. The lamb is feverish and needs another antibiotic shot; the diarrhoea seems to have gone away. I used the lamb to bait the mother ewe into walking into the warmth of the poly tunnel from the damp, chilling cold of the farmhouse paddock. Sam, Charlie's rescue sheepdog, made the job twice as hard and so had to be retired into his kennel. I plan to feed the little lamb again at lunchtime because she consumed just over half a bottle this morning. She requires two bottles per day, and yesterday she consumed just over one bottle, so by the evening, I want to have one and a half or two bottles. I'm thinking of adding the sickly lamb to the cade lamb gang once the temperature has dropped. Charlie maintains that the wee lamb will not consume lamb pellets because it will miss her mother ewe, even though the agenda is to observe and emulate the behaviour of the other cade lambs. If we can induce hunger and subsequently induce the wee lamb to consume pellets, we will have prevented her from starving to death. The mother ewe is guarding the lamb, and her teats are clean. She has milk, but we are uneasy about the fact that her two lambs have stopped eating. My friend knows about the same synchronicities I do and has been through similar traumas that have affected her mental health. And states that she was pursued and harassed during her time in Cornwall. I showed her how to bottle-feed the sick lamb in the afternoon, and she was able to give it half a bottle. If I can convince Charlie to give the lamb another half bottle tonight, we will have accomplished today's goal.

The straw bedding has experienced an eightfold increase in size. Charlie utilized the tractor to tip a load onto the paddock; however, it is imperative that we wait for dry ground before proceeding, as a sliding tractor can be extremely hazardous. The lamb, which was weak, was separated from her mother ewe and placed with two cade lambs. The two young lambs are dissatisfied with their confinement from the open paddock, but they are crucial in that they are required to coax the ill lamb into consuming pellets after we have sufficiently stimulated her appetite with the bottled milk. Early evening, we returned to my flat and readied to go out to celebrate our friends' birthday. Initially, we visited the Exchange in Hawick, where we were greeted with a warm embrace. Subsequently, we proceeded to the Stag Pub, but I regretted our decision. Leaving our two friends outside of Cooper's bar, Charlie and I went back to the flat and fell asleep. Today was a long day, but our friend's birthday was made even more special by the fact that she received the keys to her flat.

4th

Charlie provided me with transportation to Galashiels to repair my reading glasses. While lambing, I dropped them in a field. They were discovered scratched up, and as I discovered today, they are beyond repair. I saved ten pounds by getting new lenses and extra anti-glare coating instead of ordering a new pair of glasses. I will be picking up my new reading glasses in a few days. I've decided not to move to Galashiels because every time I go there, I get sick. It's fantastic to know that I've assisted my friend in finding a new home over the past two weeks, as I've learned that she will be moving into the Scottish Borders.

3rd

I got up early this morning to go back to the farmhouse and tend to the ailing lamb that we saved the previous evening. After being fed last night, the lamb has stopped eating and isn't sucking, but this morning she seems more alert. To try to get her suckle reflex back, I'm going to feed her a quarter bottle of milk every three to four hours. She drank a quarter of a bottle of milk.

At the farmhouse, it's a warm spring morning. The birds are singing, the rabbits are hopping around, and the birds are looking for food. The Scottish Blackface ewes that roam the road now have lambs. Spent most of the day nursing the sick lamb. It's easier when they are younger, but it's much harder now that the lamb is so old. It makes me so sad to see them both. If this severe starvation situation doesn't rapidly improve, I'm confident that nature will soon come to pick up her lamb. Desperation sets in when you do everything you think you could have done and still fail. I'm inconsolable about this, but I have to maintain my composure and have faith that this lamb will recover.

2nd

Woken early this morning, cooked both my friend's breakfast at the farmhouse. We gave our new friend a lift to Galashiels before tending to sheep at both grass keeps. A lamb was reported missing today by Charlie. We searched and found it lying in a hedgerow, sleeping on the roots of a tree trunk. Irony that we had arrived to take that lamb as cade. We decided not to inform our friend about the dead lamb because she would be sitting in the back seat, close to it, so Charlie put it in a bucket, covered it with another plastic bag. I took some pictures nearby of a loch or SSSI nature reserve, which is the beautiful water view I used for this month's blog header.

On the way to Hawick, we made a stop in Selkirk, which is where my grandmother was raised. I adore this charming little town. As Charlie made his way to the post office, we looked around the Red Cross charity shop and got a "look what the cat dragged in stare" as we shuffled between shabby, exhausted glad rags. Enablers resented that new feeling.

We returned to the grass keep late in the evening and unloaded the trailer. Upon entering, we were informed of the condition of the other surviving lamb, which was associated with the ewe that had declined to provide them with food. Through the use of food, the ewe and lamb were coerced into the trailer. They were clearly anxious, but they calmed down once they were in the trailer.

Quickly errected a run for the ewe and her poorly lamb to enter into the shelter of the polytunnel. The little lamb has forsaken eating and forgotten how to suckle.

We constructed a hasty passageway for the ewe and her ailing lamb to enter the poly tunnel's shelter. The little lamb no longer eats and has lost the ability to nurse.

Arrived at the flat at 10:30 p.m., concluding an exceedingly taxing day. Our friend cooked us a yummy beef stew and dumplings.