Biography

I was born in Loughborough and raised in Shepshed, Coalville, and Leicester. My childhood was difficult. From the time I was four until I turned eleven, I was raised by my mother, who was a single parent and struggled with paranoid schizophrenia. My father worked as a printer’s clerk at Ladybird Books. While he was there, he wrote a children’s book called “Flying Models.”. Between the ages of 11 and 15, I was a full ward of the court and lived with foster parents and in children's homes. My only brother hasn’t spoken to me in 14 years, and I don’t have any contact with the rest of my family, they've completely snubbed me.

In the 1990s, I was a direct activist and campaigned against Britain's road-building programs, such as M11 Leytonstone, M3 Tyford Down, and A34 Newbury Bypass. At this time, I worked with Earth First! and Pirate TV to create a series of short environmental films, which SchNews published on a CDROM. I was also commissioned by Coldcut, via Ninja Tune, to illustrate a set of control cards for their single "Everything is under Control". I’ve spent much of my transient life with alternative communities, living off-grid, so I often find myself agreeing with John Zerzan’s ideas and more so with his take on Anarcho-primitivism.

During the 90s, I grew closer to nature by spending time with the druids. I joined in and led Gorsedd and Eisteddfod ceremonies at places like Avebury, Bath, Glastonbury, and Stonehenge. Throughout the South West, I held remembrance, naming, and hand-fasting ceremonies. In 2002, I became a full member of the Council of British Druid Orders at a formal meeting hosted by Steve Wilson above Holborn's Atlantis Bookshop and chaired by Douglas Lyne, a pivotal figure in the 20th-century Neo-pagan revival, specifically within the development of modern Druidry and the preservation of mystical Anglican traditions.

I first became interested in Buddhism in 2006 and began attending meditation sessions with the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order at Brockwell Lido. Later, I became more involved by joining a Mahayana Buddhist group in Soho, led by Dirk deKlirk and guided by Ringu Tulku Rinpoche. About a year later, I joined the Karma Kagyu Buddhist tradition, took the bodhisattva vows, and received the name Pema. As my interest in dharma grew, I started to learn more about Hinduism. I visited several South Indian Hindu temples around London, but I went most often to the London Sri Mahalakshmi Temple or the Muthumari Amman Temple.

My experience with Hinduism changed deeply when I visited Gujarat, India. Visiting roads less travelled had a profound impact on how I see Hinduism. During three trips over two years, I met and became formalised with more than 100,000 Hindus. Hinduism is very important in this Indian state, and more than 160 million people visit its temples each year. I visited several Shakthi temples, including Charmunda in Chotilla, Ambaji, Kali in Pavagadh, Kodiyaar in Rajpara, and Bahucharaji in Becharaji and Shankhalpur. Additionally, I visited the Surya temple in Modera, Ranki Vav, Birla Mandir, and the Hanuman temple in Sarangpur.

When I was in India, Brahmin priests supervised my interactions with Hindus and arranged visits to homes and temples. During my time in India, Brahmin priests guided my interactions with Hindus and set up visits to homes and temples. At these homes, I was served traditional Gujarati vegetarian food, introduced to family members, took part in pooja, and often met the whole neighbourhood. When I visited temples, I was usually given a guide, often a priest or a prominent community member. I travelled to India on my own, and people respected my trust. Hindus in India treated me very differently from Hindus in the UK. In the UK, I felt despised and shunned, as if I were a cruel joke, an insult or a mistake.

In 2010, I became homeless. Stranded on the streets of Westminster, I experienced severe sleep deprivation, hunger, and thirst. Hyper-vigilance compelled me to walk for up to fourteen hours each day, eventually leading to a debilitating foot condition named plantar fasciitis. After the London Pride Parade, I stepped into a shop doorway in Bayswater to escape the heavy rain. While I was there, someone attacked me. The person kicked me in the face and broke my nose. When I tried to protect myself by raising my arm, they broke my radius bone. I lay in a puddle of blood for hours until an ambulance finally arrived, followed by CID police. They put a cast on my arm, but did a poor job. Before a nurse sent me back out onto the street, he just told me not to get my plaster wet.

I experienced several assaults, including one time when some young people spat in my face as I slept on a bench along London’s South bank. Sleeping rough was awful. In Bishops Park behind Lambeth Place, the musky smell of fox urine would get into my clothes. My friend and I were sexually assaulted many times near the hot air vents behind the Stand Hotel. She spoke Mandarin fluently and worked in China as a TV presenter. She was later deported because she refused to insult the Dalai Lama. I became friends with her after I told Outreach workers that I had been attacked and robbed. They suggested we team up to help keep us safe. After I protected her from a serial attacker, I was banned from their day centre.

After spending forty-two nights on an army bed in a night shelter, I finally received a local connection and was offered emergency housing at a hostel called Lookahead. While I was there, I had terrible nightmares and flashbacks. People insulted me, and someone destroyed my artwork. It became so hard to go back inside that I eventually just stopped returning. The police found me on Hampstead Heath, buried in snow. I was extremely dissociated, so they detained me under the Mental Health Act and transported me to an amber ward at Highgate Mental Health Unit. Between 2012 and 2014, I was detained under mental health act more than 74 times, often in Section 136 units, hospitals, or police stations, where I experienced significant mistreatment from patients, nurses and the police.