I am a late middle age of 50-years-old, of Anglo-Norman origin. I was birthed within a small university town named Loughborough within a landlocked county of North-West Leicestershire, UK. Paternal ancestry is French, from Normandy and Guernsey, and maternally from North West England. DNA test examination in 2017 discovered my North West European ancestry: Irish, Scottish and Welsh 26.9% and 16.9% Scandinavian.
Religiously, I define my faith in God as a Deist, historically I've drawn wisdom from both Mahayana Buddhism and Vaishnovite Hinduism, excluding doctrine of Shambhala ritualised as Kala Chakra. In original Buddhism, there was no concept of Paradise. I've not been initiated into a "Secret Society", nor have I been baptised, confirmed or covenanted. As a 90s environmental activist, politically, I aligned with Green Anarchism, later autonomously aligning with the National Anarchist Movement. I've never been a Marxist, nor a Socialist. I've travelled extensively around the UK for over 34 years.
Favourite locations include Cairn Gorms, Isle of Lewis, Scottish Borders, Ridgeway, Cotswold and Monarch Way, South East and West Coastal path, Dartmoor, Black Mountains, Malvern Hills, and many mountains in the region of Snowdonia. During transient times I slept under open sky, in a tent, and also took shelter inside public accessible MBA bothies of England, Scotland and Wales; during severity of circumstance (exposure), i.e plummeting temperatures, life threatening weather.
For thirty years I was Vegetarian, five of those years I was Vegan; I did not believe people should not eat meat, just thought people consumed too much meat. As an animal rights activist I campaigned compassion in farming, and not an end to farms. I was and still am against vivisection; deeming the unnecessary practice of torturing animals a sham science. I agree with routing out sadism from within hunting, in particular fox hunting with hounds.
During the 90s I was active in the anti-road building protest movement, campaigning at Twyford Down, Newbury, Avon Relief Road and Nine Ladies anti Quarry protests I dug out underground tunnels, erected tree houses and rope walk ways. I also recorded Hi8 footage that was cut into short films published on CD-ROM and distributed by a SchNEWS annual. As an anarchist I habitually frequented, for two years, an autonomous collective, based within a housing co-op located within Easton, Bristol. All were anti-Socialist, anti-Marxist, we were autonomous, excluding hierarchy wherever we found it.
In 1999 I dropped out of Ruskin College after racist threats were made against my life by Communist students (witnessed by the Student Union house master) Oxford. I had briefly studied Political Theory with a tutor named Robert Purdey. After a short stay in a hard to flat in Huddersfield I moved into a squat located in Herne Hill, a district of South West London. From here I became interested in Buddhism, meditating at Brockwell Lido with the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order. From a meditation group in Soho I found Mahayana Buddhism, after a year I took refuge at a Bodhicharya gathering with Ringu Tulku Rinpoche. From Hinduism I exited Buddhism abruptly because of their "ethical" renunciation of Ātman.
Internationally, I have within Europe: visited the countries of Spain, France and Belgium; and within Asia: India and Sri Lanka. For most of my life I've been a prolific traveller, and I've enjoyed experiencing a variety of cultures and customs; notably of the 4000 year old religion of Hinduism within the Indian state of Gujarat. In February 2007 during a tourist visit to Gujarat, India; additionally consisting of three visits over two years, I was religiously greeted / hosted (supervised by Brahmin priests) by one-hundred thousand Hindu people.
Marxists come to my village and indoctrinate neighbours into hating and ostracising me as a racist when I am not in the area, by chance (audio recording is usually switched off) I happened to catch an audio recording of this happing on New Years Day 2025.
Returning from India I was psychologically terrorised into selflessness by Christian Communism whilst displaced as a destitute vagrant upon decimating streets of Westminster, London. Vulnerability was exploited as a racial anxiety catalyst to create moral panic by pathological moral entrepreneurs embedded in religious / charitable organisations. Chased down as a "folk devil" incurred severe sleep deprivation, inflicting severe trauma as increments of false charity "open fist" slapped me inconsolable. Later I'd realise the Antichrist is my sibling brother, slaughtered under his sign of Scorpio.
From over a decade of systemic persecutions, involving religious abuses, whilst isolated impoverished and alone, I became inflicted with mental health problems such complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD) and Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I have also been diagnosed with emotional Borderline Personality Disorder (eBPD), eBPD was due to a troubling childhood, raised by a violent, psychotic, schizophrenic single parent mother. Many people with eBPD self harm, and have not been the exception. The road to healing has been long thwarted, but through faith I've grasped a sense of well being.
After being section detained 74 times under Mental Health Act legislation I travelled hundreds of thousands of miles, endlessly rambling and wild camping some of the remotest areas of the UK. In my late 40s my physical health declined, I endeavoured to gain a local connection to the Scottish Borders. Since 2022, with my application accepted I have been emergency housed first in Galashiels then relocated into the town of Hawick. Whilst living in a flat on the edge of Hawick, I met wonderful Charlie; and now alas I'm sharing life.
Charlie has worked as a farmer all his life, his family were and are also farmers in Warwickshire, England, his uncle won the top prize at the Royal Show with a Charolais bull. His family, the Bostocks, historically, were landowners, originating from Bostock Green, Cheshire. His family often talk about the Bostock and Wombwell travelling menagerie; I've been labelled a freak and alienated all my life, I often guess that's how I joined the show.
I met Charlie via hitch-hiking along the A7 from Selkirk to Hawick; Charlie lives in a farmhouse a couple of miles from the village of Roberton, this is where I now spend half of my life. Having a home is a discovery for me, my childhood was de-realised from the home my parent made for me. I bare indelible sadness over my family declining contact with me during the last ten years. I was not informed of the date of my mother / fathers funeral, I also have a young adult niece, daughter of my sibling brother; I have never spoken too her.
Charlie has a rescue dog named Sam; he suffers anxiety, sees the entire world as an omen. He irrationally impresses his face into the corners of rooms and often seeks out solitary confines, I feel for him and have known his pain and discomfort, Charlie saved him from being put to sleep; in many ways I feel Charlie also saved me from the same fate. It chokes me up with emotion sometimes, to be able to both believe in and accept genuine kindness. Truly I know God comes to us, when were terrorised alone, to carry us over, past despair.
Charlie is a "Country Bumpkin"; and has, as what I consider as an introvert, poor social skills. To lessen his, now our social isolation, for the last six months I've encouraged him and myself to play carpet bowls with friendly local neighbours at Forman Hall, Roberton. We have a common ground epicentre in that farming is a livelihood for many, many people that reside within this here Borthwick valley. We've also attended functions, played bingo and other games, and also watched live music at this invaluable community centre.
Additionally to Charles farm work with coos, we croft our own flock of Teeswater sheep (numbering between 60-70 but recently we had a reduction). Woodburn farm has been, over the years, scaled down in size and is now reduced to a paddock. A few years ago the farm barn was taken away and sold to a greedy property developer, leaving Charlie to erect a poly-tunnel to shelter his sheep from foreboding Scottish Borders winter.
Inspired by an opportunity to utilised a supply of fleece I have purchased an antique spinning wheel. I'm now on a mission to spinning and knit yarn, making a jumper for Charlie from the fleece of his sheep. I hope to involve others in my learning journey. We lamb every year, during the last lambing seasons I've nursed to life eleven cade lambs; I've found helping these creatures consoling and emotionally rewarding.
We still find time for a wee ramble here and there. We go exploring, visiting scenic viewpoints, travelling through forest, climbing hills. We're in England often, I'm fond of the Northumbrian town of Wooler, attending an auction market there twice. I also enjoy visiting Spital and Eyemouth beaches. The Lake district, not so far away, and within the Scottish Borders are Elidon Hills, Meggit Water, Craik Forest and Grey Mares Tale.
On the 3rd of June 2024 I signed a Scottish Secure Tenancy Agreement with Scottish Borders Housing Association becoming a permanent resident of Ancrum, Scottish Borders. I feel blessed to have been rehoused here, people are friendly, there is community and my wee cosy bungalow is peaceful. I am studying Sociology and Psychology, to find ways, means to project positively about area, of the Scottish Borders.